An hour into PugFest today, Lauren put her hands to her face and said, “My cheeks literally hurt from smiling so much.” The festival was a blast from the first minute we got there, and it somehow got better as the day went on.

The expo center hosting the festival is huge. There are a bunch of entrances and different wings, and it takes up the equivalent of multiple city blocks. Lauren and I weren’t sure where to park for PugFest, but we figured it out. There may have been a couple of clues to guide us.

The doors opened at 9:00 AM, so we were there at 8:30. The festival website promised goodie bags to the first set of people to come in (but they didn’t say how many people, so we had to decide how dedicated we were to goodie bags. We were 8:30 dedicated, but not 8:00 dedicated). Luckily, a half hour early was enough. There was a line of people and dogs waiting to get in, sort of like a furrier-than-usual Black Friday, but we got our goodie bags! I don’t even remember all the stuff in it, but there were full-size bags of treats, toys, stickers, air freshener sticks, and a pug-in-a-car bandana that Ezra is going to love. Score!

In the vendors area, there was a table selling official PugFest t-shirts and sweatshirts. Let’s review: the doors opened at 9:00. When I finally made my way to that table (at 9:04), they only had two medium sweatshirts left, and NO larges! Of course I got the competitive shopping itch (this was feeling more and more like Black Friday…), and I snatched up one of the mediums. Hooray for me! The design is fabulous, and I can see why they were popular, but still. Four minutes?! I thought maybe the festival people were trying to make it competitive and secretly had more hoodies stashed somewhere, but nope. No hoodies were for sale for the rest of the day. Now I own ultra-rare, limited-edition, genuine Bluegrass PugFest memorabilia. I’m not even going to look up how much this kind of stuff is going for on eBay.

The first event of the day was crowning the royalty of this year’s PugFest. There was a competition held last month to determine the winners, and today they got to walk the red carpet. I took a picture of Lola, the duchess, just in case anyone ever asks me, “How would you describe your personality?” I can just show them this picture.

When Skippy (the prince) walked the red carpet with his owner, the announcer explained that Skippy was named after the owner’s friend who died in a fire. Both Skippy and the owner’s friend were joyful and kind and loyal. Skippy’s owner teared up and got very emotional about this. My first thought was that it was touching that he named his pug after his friend, but then I thought that it would really depend on the friend as to whether or not that was honoring him well. For example, if I named a pug after Janell, I think she’d be so mad that she’d come back and haunt me. This guy seemed quite sure his friend would have appreciated it, so that’s good.

Shortly after the coronation of the pug royalty, Lauren and I discovered there was a photo contest. A photo contest?! Our dogs are adorable! We looked at today’s categories (Most Photogenic, Best Christmas Picture, Animal Encounters, and My Pug and Me) and decided we simply had to enter. The catch was that the photos had to be printed, which is a good idea because then people could all see the winners posted at the end of the competition. Unfortunately, Lauren and I had no printed photos. Fortunately, Walgreens was only a mile away! We skipped out on the pug CPR training to go print pictures, so I really hope I never have to know pug CPR.

Pugicorn helped us choose the perfect photos to submit.

After we got our pictures, we popped into the coffee shop next door. It had a fun, urban vibe, and they were playing “Mmmbop” on the radio. “Mmmbop” has been my favorite song since literally 1997, so there was no way I was leaving the coffee shop that was playing my ultimate jam. We stayed for lunch, and Pugicorn got to enjoy the music as well. He didn’t get a raspberry limeade like I did, but that’s okay.

Back at the expo center, we met up with my sister Cara. Cara lives in Miami, but she’s in Louisville for a wedding this weekend. Cara and I discovered a couple weeks ago that we’d be in Louisville the same weekend and were staying only ten minutes away from each other – how random is that? She has a french bulldog named Rocket, which isn’t quiiiite as cool as a pug, but she brought him to the festival anyway.

Cara is a runway model, and high fashion is very important to her. That means that at any event we both attend, there is a 99% chance that she is better dressed for the occasion than I am.

Today, my friends, was the day in that other 1%. Yaaaaay! I got a zillion compliments on my fabulous pug dress, which was clearly the better outfit for this occasion. To commemorate this moment of outdressing Cara, I told her I needed a picture. I shall treasure it always.

Once we caught up with Cara, we shopped for a while. At one vendor, I found this shirt and texted Rex to see if he would wear it. He said sure.

He hadn’t asked to see the back of it…ha!

We gathered at 2:00 to hear the results of the photo contest. I am happy to report that Penny won third place in the “Most Photogenic” category, and she won FIRST place for “Best Christmas Picture.” Goooooo Penny! Boomer placed fourth in “Animal Encounters,” which was also exciting! Here are our winning photos:

Animal Encounters, 4th Place:

Most Photogenic Pug, 3rd Place:

Best Christmas Picture, 1st Place:

After the photo awards, there was the Blessing of the Pugs. There was a lady in robes, officially ordained in the church of something or other, who gave a short homily on dogs being creatures created by God that we should treasure. Then she blessed all of the pugs with health and longevity. Pugs really need that blessing – they’re kind of medical disasters who can barely breathe half the time.

Once the blessing was complete, we moved on to the pug races. I wasn’t sure what to expect here, but I definitely didn’t expect a Kentucky Derby-style track with functional starting gates. For each pug, one person would stand by the gate while the owner of the pug went to the end of the track. Once the pugs were released, the owners called their pugs. The first pug across the finish line advanced to the next level.

Here’s some pictures of how the races work:

The announcer started the event by saying they would run the all-breeds race before starting the pugs. All breeds? Like, any dog could join? I turned to Cara and said that if I would have known that, I would have told her to enter Rocket. There are also races tomorrow, so we decided we’d check if perhaps she could enter him then.

Today’s dogs got their lane assignments. There were only five dogs entered in the non-pug race, and there were six starting gates. “Wait!” called Lauren, interrupting the proceedings. “If there’s an extra gate, can we have a last-minute entry?” The announcer looked a little flustered but said, “Um, sure. I don’t see why not.”

“You’re in!” I said to Cara and Rocket. I practically threw $3 at her and said, “Here’s the entry fee. Go go go!”

None of us really knew how this would go. When the gates opened, there was a Chihuahua who beelined it for his owner and crossed the finish line right away. That was one speedy Chihuahua. Rocket started running forward, but so many people were yelling that he got confused. He looked at the side of the track, trying to find Cara. Cara screamed as loud as she could from the other end. “ROOOOCCKKEETTTTT!”

When Rocket finally saw her, he sprinted and jumped into her arms. He started licking her in a frantic way as if to say, “That was horrible. I love you. But where the heck did you go?! I love you. Never do that again. I love you.” Once he saw her, he ran fast enough to secure second place!

I thought it was pretty cool that the last-minute entry clinched second. Cara was happy too, for about a minute, and then said, “Now that Rocket knows how this works, we’ll win. No question. I’m entering again tomorrow.” She’s strangely competitive about a non-pug race at a pug festival, but hey – maybe Rocket will win tomorrow.

“You know what?” Cara said, looking around at the pugness, “This makes me think of when people study the Holocaust or whatever, and they say, ‘Whoa, this is the worst possible side of humanity.’ This event is the exact opposite. It’s the actual best side of humanity. This is the most wholesome, best day ever.”

Every once in a while, Cara understands me.

After the non-pug race, there were a lot of rounds of pug races. I wasn’t even sure why I entered Penny, as she was a little sedated on some meds the vet recommended she take before going to such a massive event. You never know, though. She could have been the Usain Bolt of pugs, and who was I to hold her back?

(Turns out she’s not the Usain Bolt of pugs)

Boomer’s heat was before Penny’s, and he did awesome! There was a bit of controversy about the finish, and they declared a different pug the winner. Lauren was gracious about it, but she was also convinced that an instant replay would have shown that Boomer won. Here’s a picture of the finish (Boomer has the teal bandana):

I’m not saying Lauren’s out for revenge tomorrow, because that would lean more into the ugly side of humanity, but we will all be cheering extra hard for Boomer.

Penny’s race was…wow. It was amazing. The gates opened, and she sauntered out like she was completely unbothered by anything in life. Some pugs ran by, and she acted like one of those guys who smokes a lot of weed and says, “It’s cool, man. No need to hurry. Just chill. It’s all about the chill.”

She finally saw me, and I was yelling and telling her to come. She started heading my way, but very slowly. If there was a thought bubble over her head, it would have said, “I’m coming, I’m coming…no need to get all flustery about it.” She crossed the finish line at a lackadaisical walk.

Unbelievably, Penny wasn’t in last place. She beat Petunia, who sat and stared at the back of the box when the starting gates opened. When Petunia finally came out and started poking around, she had no clue what was going on. Her owner was yelling, but to no avail. People tried pointing her toward the finish line, but she just cocked her head in that puggy way and looked confused. Here she is at the beginning of the race:

Lauren went to the side fence and said, “Petunia! Let’s go!” She held her hand up and talked to Petunia, coaxing her along and walking next to her from outside the fence all the way to the finish line. I’m not sure why Petunia listened to Lauren out of all of the yelling people, but she did. Later that afternoon, Petunia’s owner came up to Lauren and said, “Thank you so much for helping Petunia. Last year she didn’t even finish.” It was an emotional moment, almost like Petunia was one of those runners who fell at the end of a marathon, but his teammates carried him across the finish line. Very inspiring.

Cara had to leave after the races so she could, you know, go to that wedding she came here for. Lauren and I kept walking around and checking out the different booths. My favorite pictures of Penny came from a booth where you could donate a dollar to the pug rescue and use their photo scenes for your doggo. Ezra loves fire trucks and airplanes, so I knew I needed to get these pictures of Penny for him.

At the end of the day, a lot of pugs were losing steam. It’s a big day for everyone, but especially for a pug.

Once the expo center closed, Lauren and I went to the “After Paw-ty” at a local Dog Park Bar. I had never been to a dog park bar. The bouncer (I mean, hostess…) checked our dogs’ vaccine records before we could go in, which felt oddly like having IDs checked back in the day. Luckily, we both had the records with us. Before we could enter, we had to take off the dogs’ leashes and harnesses. Collars were fine, but they said harnesses are a danger if dogs start wrestling around.

Once Penny was naked except for her collar, we went through the gate. I turned around to pull the gate closed behind me, and when I turned back there was a whole cluster of pugs snorting around in front of me. Where was Penny? She had been there just a second ago! I looked at each pug, trying to look quickly, and it felt like a high-stakes Where’s Waldo game. There’s only one Waldo…BUT THEY ALL LOOK LIKE WALDO.

Finally, Lauren said, “Hey, is that Penny?” she pointed out to the yard, where Penny had sprinted over to the big dogs and started running around with them. I don’t remember if I did a literal face palm, but that’s how I felt. She’s used to chasing Ruby at home, so I suppose she thought that looked like more fun then snorting around with the hoards of fluffy gremlins.

I admit it – I got a little nervous. Not all big dogs are as gentle as Ruby. Also, Penny was already breathing hard. I didn’t want her to overheat. I took her to a fenced-in area in the back for “sensitive dogs,” which was completely empty, and we sat at the picnic table together. I sent Rex a video message asking if I was being a helicopter mom but for a dog. I don’t want to be one of those moms who says, “Johnny! DO NOT climb that tree – trees are dangerous. Don’t play jump rope – you might trip. Don’t play in the mud – you might ingest a brain-eating amoeba.”

I rationalized that I’m not a helicopter mom by telling myself that Penny has very little dog park experience, so I didn’t want her to get freaked out. Also, the dog park in Las Vegas wasn’t a great place for Elvis. And, as the final piece of evidence that my decision was fine, Penny didn’t even care about being in the sensitive dog area. If she had been sadly whimpering at the fence, that would have been something to consider. But she just flopped happily in the grass and snuggled on my lap, so I didn’t feel too guilty.

Lauren got some delicious pug-themed cocktail, and I almost got one too. Then I realized that the drink was $12, and that happens to be the exact price of the fancy little Kentucky Derby hats that pugs can wear to the races. Penny’s not entering the races tomorrow, and it would be so fun if she cheered for her friends while wearing a feathery and/or ribbony hat. I’m using that as my meter stick when shopping tomorrow: “Do I want this item more than the $12 Kentucky Derby hat?” If yes, fine. I’ll buy the thing. If not, then at the end of the day right before the races, I’ll buy Penny a fancy hat.

Now we’re back at the lovely AirBnB, where Lauren is prepping Boomer’s outfit for tomorrow. It’s a tuxedo, because he’s planning to enter the “Dapper Fella” competition. I thought Lauren had a lot of outfits for her dog, but turns out she does not. One family today had a literal suitcase of pug clothes, and they did multiple outfit changes for their dogs throughout the day using outfits that appear to have been dry-cleaned (they were in that fancy plastic cover over the hanger).

Pug people, man. I tell ya.

I’m so sleepy, kind of like those pugs, and we still have a whole day of PugFest tomorrow. Can anyone handle so much fun?!

To christen our road trip, Lauren started by adding a fabulous pug decal to her car. It’s her first decal of this vehicle, and it seemed the perfect time to add it. It’s sort of like the Queen smashing the champagne bottle against a ship to bless the voyage, but except not at all like that.

As we left, our friend Janell texted and told us to have a fun time. I told Janell that we were just leaving, and it was her LAST CHANCE to come with us, but we would be willing to come by and pick her up.

She responded by saying, “I have to do my laundry, clip my toenails, and vacuum the couch. Shucks.” She never has understood about pugs. Good thing she didn’t take us up on the offer, because we were pretty much out of space anyway.

It was time to hit the open road!

The hours passed quickly between talking, snacking, and listening to our awesome playlist. Before we knew it, we both really had to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, there was nowhere to stop. We were on one of those stretches of road that doesn’t believe in exits. When we finally found a place to stop, I barely noticed that the building was kind of sketchy. Sure, the name Bonkerz was kinda weird, but who cares? They had a toilet!

When I walked in, I was a bit overwhelmed by the stench. It’s like if you’re in a truck stop bathroom that hasn’t been cleaned since last fall, so you hold your breath while you pee. Except the whole place smelled like that. Whatever. I really had to go.

I made my way to the back of the store by the restroom, and there was a long line of people. I wondered if I started doing a potty dance like a toddler, maybe someone would let me go first, but that seemed a little selfish. The family next to me in line had what I am calling “daddy and me tattoos.” It’s kind of like those “mommy and me” matching sweater sets that you can buy on Etsy, except the dad had a tattoo sleeve and so did the kid (the kid’s was fake, but still…). I tried to distract myself by looking around. They had lots of misspelled signs, but hey – words like “liter” and “open” can be tough, you know?

When I finally (FINALLY) got my turn in the bathroom, I almost laughed. They had a sign on the wall that said to let them know if the bathroom needed any cleaning or maintenance. The full-size trash can was overflowing, there was dirt on the walls, and it felt like maybe the sign was ironic – like, a satirical decoration.

The tampon dispenser charged 75 cents, and I thought, “Whoa, that’s kinda steep for a tampon. Aren’t they usually a quarter?” Then I looked closer, and they weren’t selling tampons. For only 75 cents, I could be the proud owner of a “Fantasy 6” Kit: Aromas, Excited Creme, DeLube, Body Art Tattoos, and Flavored Neon Body Paints.

If that wasn’t odd enough, I noticed a lock on the machine (because I’m sure theft of the Fantasy 6 Kits are a real problem). A family had decided to leave their signature on the lock in white out: “Family Road Trip – 2021 Spring Break!” One part of me really wants to meet this family, but another part really, really doesn’t.

I was very happy to leave that place. The entire experience was, well, bonkerz.

Now that Lauren and I weren’t going to burst, we were a lot comfier for the rest of the trip. We were very hungry, but we waited until we got to our AirBnB so we could unload. I wanted to check out the AirBnB to see what we’d gotten ourselves into – you just NEVER REALLY KNOW. If this place was a broken-down shanty in a back alley, I was going to feel guilty since I’m the one who picked it.

Good news: it’s awesome! It’s one of those rare places that actually looks better than it did in the photos. I can get some inside pictures tomorrow, but here’s the outside when we first arrived. Love love love.

Lauren was in the mood for Mexican food, so we decided to check out Senor Iguanas. It was nearby and had good reviews, so why not? There was a good vibe when we got inside: twinkle lights, fake plants, bright colors, a standard Mexican restaurant feel. Our waiter, a mid-twenties guy with hipster glasses, led us to a booth where this creepy woman was artistically painted for our…enjoyment. I might have nightmares about her later.

I mostly tried not to look at the wall, which turned out to be okay once the food arrived. The food was lovely enough to hold my attention.

When it came time to pay, Lauren and I dug around in our purses. We found out that we have matching coin purses, which was a happy discovery.

After paying the bill, the waiter came back to give us our checks. He handed me mine and said, “Will you be sure to sign yours with your number?”

I feel stupid now, but I was genuinely confused. “Like, you want me to write down my credit card number?”

“Uh, no.” He laughed nervously. “Your number. Like, your phone number.”

“Oh,” I said. “Um, no. I’m not going to do that.”

“Okay,” he said, looking a bit disappointed. “I had to try.”

Maybe this doesn’t say good things about my self-esteem, but my first thought was, “Did someone dare him to ask me that?” I searched around for guys giggling in the corner about their friend who lost a bet and had to ask out the road-trip bedraggled crazy pug lady. There weren’t any.

I was still a bit shocked. “He wanted my number?”

Lauren laughed, “Yeah, he did.”

I processed my confusion. “But like, I’m super married. And I have a kid. And I’m at least ten years older than him. We’re not at a bar. I’m wearing a wedding ring.”

“He probably didn’t check for a wedding ring.”

“Well, he should.” I sounded a little poutier than I meant to. “Now I probably made him feel bad. I should apologize. Like, it’s nothing personal, and he could be a lovely person, but I’m not looking to get into a relationship at the moment.” By “at the moment,” I mean, “not in the past eighteen years and hopefully not ever again,” but I didn’t need to go into all of that. Then I thought maybe the situation would be even WEIRDER if I apologized, which Lauren assured me it would, so alas. We left.

Now we’re cozied up in the living room, where I’m blogging and Lauren is doing repairs to Boomer’s unicorn outfit. It was a great travel day, and I’m so, so, SO excited for the festival to start tomorrow. Penny and Boomer have no idea about the fun they’re going to have.

Schooooooooooool’s OUT. FOR. SUMMER!!!

Today was the last day of school before summer break, and I’m not sure I’ve ever looked forward to a summer so much. It’s not at all because the school year was bad – this class was amazing! – but because this summer should be even more amazing. Several people have asked what kind of grants I applied for this year and what adventures I’m going to have. They seem kind of let down when I tell them I didn’t apply for any grants.

Ezra’s two, and you know what I want to do this summer? Even more than travel to Tibet or whatever? I want to play with Ezra in the front yard sprinkler. I want to hike in the woods and collect pine cones. I want to spend way too much time at the library, where yesterday Ezra chose the book What Makes My Synagogue Special. If I was in Tibet, would Ezra have gotten to learn about his special synagogue? No. So clearly I need to be home.

I’ll still have summer adventures to share, don’t worry. Exhibit A: tomorrow I leave for a girls’ weekend to the Bluegrass Pug Festival.

Did you have to read that last part twice? I don’t blame you. A Bluegrass Pug Festival?? Who knew something so awesome existed? America is great country, my friends.

I’m going with my friend Lauren, our dogs, and…PUGICORN!!!

Yes, that is a giant pug unicorn. Don’t be too jealous. I should go make sure my address isn’t posted anywhere online so that people won’t see this treasure and come steal it.

The trip came together rather quickly. From the time we found out about the existence of the festival to the time we had our AirBnB booked was approximately fifteen minutes. I mean, if there’s a massive pug festival (2,000+ pugs last year!), it’s not like Lauren and I are going to miss it.

Sometimes I’m not sure what to blog about while on a trip. For example, if I’m at a conference taking notes all day, what will people want to read about? But man, if I can’t find anything bloggable at the BLUEGRASS PUG FESTIVAL, then I’m no sort of writer at all.

The festival is in Kentucky, and we leave tomorrow. Penny is freshly groomed, road trip snacks have been acquired, and a customized road trip playlist is ready to go. It includes songs such as “Who Let the Dogs Out?” and “Hound Dog” and “Bad to the Bone.” I gave Lauren edit access so she could add some songs, but that was a HUGE mistake. Today I listened to a song she added that I’d never heard before, and the dog dies at the end.

Lauren. What the heck?! I briefly considered dumping her from this trip, but well…Pugicorn is technically hers. And Penny might not have as much fun without Boomer. We’ll just skip that song.

As I do with most of my trips, I made a packing list before I started packing. Once I completed my list, I texted Rex and said, “That moment when you stand back and say, ‘Hmmm…I might be a weird human.'” There’s an awful lot of pug stuff on here.

I showed Lauren the list, and she said it looks fabulous. She suggested I add “cash” to my list so I can buy MORE pug stuff. What more pug stuff could I possibly want?!

I’m sure I’ll find something. 😀

But hey – don’t get the wrong idea here. It’s not just all pug shopping. There are also educational breakout sessions. I’m not kidding – that’s literally what they’re called. I can’t wait. What are these sessions going to be about? How will any of us hear the presenters over the army of pugs snorting? There is also a talent competition, a fashion show, musical guests…I mean, come on. This is gonna be epic.

Lauren said some of the online chatter about this event mentioned that people brought entire trailers of pug stuff last year. Apparently people go all out. I told her to make sure she wears shorts so that she can show off the pug tattoo on her ankle (here’s a post of when the tattoo happened). Her tattoo will surely make her one of the cool kids. Maybe I’ll make one in sharpie like my middle schoolers do when they’re trying to look edgy. Like, I could do a paw print on my neck or something.

On second thought, maybe not.

Anyway, I have to go assemble all of the things on my packing list. Stay tuned for a weekend of pug shenanigans. If things get really crazy, maybe Pugicorn will get a tattoo. Then the other dogs will say, “Bow wooooooow.”

Kentucky or bust!

So….much….conference…. I have no brain left, but I do have a surprise guest at the end of this post. Get excited.

The session first thing this morning was awesome. It was called “Math Education and Solving the Problems of Humanity.” That’s a pretty gutsy title if you ask me. Someone planned to speak for an hour and a half, and in that time they would solve all of humanity’s problems?

Turns out I had the totally wrong idea (which stinks, because solving all of humanity’s problems would have been nice). The session was a debate among global researchers to agree or disagree with this statement: “The current state of math education is effectively addressing humanity’s problems.” It was fascinating. At one point I looked at my watch, saw we only had twenty minutes left, and I was bummed. I could have listened to them for hours. How often do you sit through an hour and a half presentation, and you’re actually sad it’s going to end?

This late in the week, some of my colleagues have started skipping sessions and exploring Sydney instead. I’m not skipping sessions for a couple of reasons:

1. Mathy people in America paid a lot of money for me to be here, and I want them to get their maximum return on investment.
2. I didn’t want to skip any sessions. We were almost to the end of the week, and the conference had been fantastic. It would feel like leaving a football game in the fourth quarter during a great game – sure, you could technically leave, but why would you?

So I kept going to sessions.

At lunch, my friend Laura from Minnesota asked if she could join me. Of course! I asked where she wanted to go. She said she didn’t care. I pulled out my phone, quickly checked something on Google maps, then looked up at her. “How do you feel about pancakes?”

Yep, I went back to Pancakes on the Rocks. It was a quarter mile away, but it was absolutely worth it. Laura got a salad (whateverrrrr), but I got another stack of my beloved pancakes. *heart-eyed emoji*

I’m so lucky that we don’t have this in Michigan. I would weigh 500 pounds.

After lunch, I did okay for one session…and then I hit a wall.

I’m not sure what happened, but my brain decided it had had enough. I was physically exhausted, mentally exhausted, and I was just so…done. It was like my brain was a cell phone battery running on one percent at lunch, and then it shut off. When I went to the next session, I tried to sit in the back and chill. The presenter said we were going to try an activity in groups, and I considered ducking into the hall. I have seen one too many higher-order math problems this week, and I did not want to tackle another one. Unfortunately, I was put into a group before I could escape.

“It’s okay,” I assured myself. “You don’t actually have to participate much. Pretend you’re a quiet, shy person.” Then I rethought that stance. I am at this conference representing my country. Sure, people shouldn’t judge a country based on a person, but I admit I’ve done it. You talk to one brilliant teacher from Portugal, and you think, “Whoa, Portugal’s got it together.” Or you hear about one messed-up classroom in Bangladesh and think, “I bet their whole system is a nightmare.” I couldn’t have anyone drawing poor conclusions about America simply because I wasn’t in the mood to be a team player!

I participated to the best of my ability (which, to be honest, still wasn’t great). After that session was over it was time for afternoon tea, where we get tea and snacks each day. Instead of mingling in the crowd over tea and cookies, I went to a floor with no sessions and just sat on a blue bench thing, trying to be quiet for a little bit and attempting to muster up the energy to get through the day.

While sitting in the quiet, I noticed an advertisement for an event going on at the expo center next door. It’s called “One Fine Baby,” and it’s an expo for pregnant women, new moms, and moms of toddlers. Moms of toddlers? Hey, that’s me! I pulled up the website. It is an expo selling all the poshest baby brands in Australia (none of which I recognized). They have an “advice hub” where you can go ask for parenting advice. They have strollers for sale and a “stroller testing area” where you can roll the stroller through a series of different surfaces to see how it does on road, cobblestone, etc. They also had free nappies for you to take home. FREE NAPPIES?? It occurred to me that I haven’t changed a diaper in ten days. “I miss diapers,” I thought. Then I concluded my brain really must be short-circuiting. Anyway, the expo sounded a lot more fun than the last session of my math conference.

So guess what I did?

I went to the math session, obviously. HAVE YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS POST?! I can’t miss any sessions because then I’m wasting America’s money (or something). I admit I really didn’t want to go to the last session, but it was only one more. Surely I could make it.

Generally, I’m good at taking notes. The last session of today, I was not. I usually make sure to get the presenter’s name, their country, their contact info if available, and the title of their presentation as a heading before I take notes on what they have to say. What to know my heading for this presentation? I looked back at it right now. It is, and I quote, “Hong Kong Guy.” What was his name? No idea. The title of his research? Couldn’t tell you. Here are some actual quotes from that last session’s notes:

STT math? Not sure what this is.

Multivariable calculus….bleh…

Math interest is more important in math knowledge (?) in his results as a predictor of…I don’t know. Something. He changed the slide.

RASCH model for psychometrics (??? look this up later)

At that point in the day, not only did I have no shot of following research on multivariable calculus, but I wonder if I would have been able to long divide properly. Every single brain cell was tired.

When I got back to the room, I talked to Rex on the phone for a little bit while I waited for Lauren to return from her adventures. “I’m so exhausted,” I said. “I want to rally and go out with Lauren because she’s only here for a few days. But like…I can’t even think. I’m about to fall asleep in this chair. I want to stay in tonight, but I don’t want to let her down.”

Lauren texted me when her bridge climb was over, and she said she was too tired to do much tonight (HOORAY! Except then I’m kind of a crappy person for being happy that my friend was tired. Oh well). I told her we could just go somewhere quick for takeout. She suggested room service.

Have I ever mentioned how much I like Lauren?

While we waited for room service, Lauren showed me pictures all about her day. She started with the 5k she ran this morning. She had pictures of herself at the finish line, and I said, “Wait, who took pictures of you at the finish line?”

Lauren gave me a confused look. “I literally just said that my new friend Sally took pictures of me at the finish line…you really are brain dead, aren’t you?”

Oops. I told you – zero brain power.

In my defense, have YOU ever been to a seven-day math conference with people who are all way smarter than you? I get tired at the end of a three-day conference back home, and that’s with people who are on my level! Honestly, I’m impressed with myself that it took until the last afternoon of the conference for my brain to crap out on me.

After dinner, it was about eight o’ clock. There were fireworks scheduled for tonight at the harbor around a five-minute walk from our hotel, but I didn’t know if I had the energy to do the five-minute walk. Neither did Lauren.

“Well, I did miss the entire Fourth of July,” I said. “It might be nice to see some fireworks…” We decided to go after all.

I figured the fireworks would be pretty lame. We were in a small inlet of harbor surrounded by skyscrapers. In order to keep things safe, they would pretty much have to do bottle rockets. Maybe a few of those popper things that you throw on the driveway.

I was wrong.

The didgeridoo started its mournful drone to get the show started. I told Lauren I would be singing “God Bless America” in my head so I could pretend it was Independence Day. The fireworks started popping up in rhythm to the music, and well…wow. They were amazing. If it wouldn’t be horribly unpatriotic, I might consider saying that they’re better than the fireworks in the USA. Lauren summed it up well when she said that it looked like an American grand finale, except for the entirety of the whole show. It made the sky so…sparkly. I’m really glad we hauled ourselves out of the room to go see that.

Now we’re back in our room again. It’s only 10:11, but guess what? I think I’m going to go to bed.

There’s another half day of conference tomorrow, but it’s just a whole-group lecture and then a closing ceremony. I think I can handle that. Then Lauren and I will find some sort of adventure on our last day in Sydney!

SURPRISE GUEST: I can’t write about Lauren’s day because I was busy talking about calculus instead of getting free nappies (Choices, Christine. Make better ones). Anyway, she did a lot of awesome stuff, so I asked her to guest post and tell you about the day she had. With that, I’ll hand the microphone over to Lauren.

Today’s Australian adventure began with the sunrise and ended with the sunset. After almost oversleeping, I made it just in time to Centennial Park for the local parkrun – a free 5K run that takes place every Saturday at more than 2,200 locations across the world. While I was looking around in the dark for a group of runners, three ladies walked up. They looked like runners! They were actually math teachers. But also runners! I had found three Australian ladies from Christine’s conference that were going to the parkrun! Here I am with Renee, Sally, and Lee.

I couldn’t let Christine have all the fun with the math educators! After the run, Sally and I even became Facebook friends.
My other big event for the day started at 3:05 PM. I was going to climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge! This had been my dream since June 22, 2024 (the day that Christine and I came up  with the idea for me to join her in Australia). I wanted to be like Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen in the 2000’s movie Our Lips Are Sealed!

Do I look like I had as much fun on the bridge climb as they did? 

The sunset was spectacular! Thanks, Christine, for inviting me on this amazing trip with you!

Today I set a new record for the most notes I’ve ever taken in a single conference day: ten pages single spaced. It’s like there were sparks flying off my fingers as I frantically typed everything I was learning. I guess all that note-taking didn’t leave much time for picture taking. When I went back to reference my pictures from the day, I only had pictures of presenter slides and one picture of this weird pumpkin quiche we had with morning tea time.

The quiche was delicious, though. I’m glad I will now remember it forever since it’s on this blog.

At lunchtime, I went out with Kevin and Dave. I’d e-mailed them wondering if I could ask some questions about all the things I’ve been learning and how to apply them in my classroom. It was the teeniest bit awkward to ask, because they’ve been so kind to treat me as an actual colleague. I didn’t want to draw attention to how out of my league I am. We are colleagues, I guess, but in the same way that I would say to a Newbery Honor author that, “Hey! We’re both writers!” Technically true, but totally not on the same level.

Anyway, I figured being shy and self-conscious was not the best use of my time in Sydney. If the president of American math and an executive board member of American math were willing to answer my questions, I might as well put all my cards on the table and say, “Here’s where I am in my math education knowledge. Here’s where I want to be. Now…how do I do that?”

It was an extremely productive meeting. I learned all the things. Basically, I have to completely change everything I’ve ever done in any classroom. Ha! I’m joking…mostly. We ate at a nice restaurant outside by the water. I had pizza. I ate the whole thing (kinda slowly, too, so I would have time to ask all of my questions). The guys told me multiple times that I had “great questions,” and they once again encouraged me to consider a math ed PhD. That must mean they didn’t think I was a TOTAL idiot, or at least they were nice about it.

After lunch, it was back to sessions! One moment was particularly memorable. In a session about mental health challenges and the math classroom, the presenter said something like this: “It’s tough out there for students dealing with mental health issues. Especially with serious issues, such as bipolar disorder, all the books and movies either have tragic endings or highlight some super genius who was completely nuts. There aren’t books out there about someone having a mental illness and still living life as a normal person.”

I considered interrupting. There were only a couple dozen people in the room, so it wouldn’t have been toooo rude. I felt like saying, “Hi, um, excuse me? Hello? That book DOES exist. And I have it on fairly good authority that it doesn’t suck.”

It did make me happy that this fancy professor noticed the gap in cultural presentations of mental illness. After her presentation, I went up and talked to her about my book The Art of Insanity. She seemed very interested. She said she’s going to buy it, and I hope she does. I hope it could be the kind of book she could recommend to other teachers interested in teens and mental health.

After the final conference session, I went to the meeting I’d been excited about all day: my one-on-one discussion with the FINNISH TEACHER AHHHHH!!!

I started off by saying something like, “As I’m sure you know, Finland is consistently ranked one of the best education systems in the world.”

“Yeah,” she said. “The new PISA report just came out, and we’re #1 in critical thinking and reasoning again.”

Why am I not surprised? I asked her to explain what she saw in Finland’s education system that sets it apart from the rest of the world. We had such a great conversation. I won’t post it all here because there’s a good chance none of you are as interested in it as I am, but I’ll give you a sample: one of the reasons Laura thinks Finland does so well is because grades don’t matter there. Kids go to school to learn, and they don’t get distracted by how many points they have or what they’re going to get on their report cards. This spawned a host of other questions (How do you communicate student progress? How do students get into college? How do teachers know if they’re being effective? etc). It was so extremely fascinating. Then she asked about the American education system, which she found interesting as well. By the end of the conversation, we agreed that it was really fun and that we’d love to continue the conversation in the future. She’s working on a book about international math education, and there’s a chance I might collaborate and write a chapter for her from an American perspective. Whoo hoo!

After a full day of meetings and taking notes, my brain felt so full that I worried it would fall out of my ears. When I got back to the hotel, Lauren was there and ready to tell me all about her day. She went on the ferry this morning and explored Taronga Zoo. She found her beloved platypus, so that was a total win!

She scrolled through a bunch of pictures, showing me all the fun animals, and then she got to this picture.

“These are the recycle bins right next to the zoo,” she said. “I tried to decipher what the color-coded tops meant, but I don’t think there’s a color coordination system after all. The bins today didn’t match the colors from the bins I saw yesterday.”

I made fun of her for taking pictures of the recycle bins at the zoo, and she said, “I have pictures of the recycle bins in Sweden, too! Wanna see?”

I guess international recycling is Lauren’s “Finnish education system.”

After thinking long and hard about how to use our precious Friday night, we agreed on the best way we could spend it: Mexican food and a used book store.

Before we left for our excursion, I packed up all the souvenirs in my emergency shopping duffel to see if I had any room left. I had enough room for a book…but it couldn’t be a very big one.

“Let’s check the bookstore first,” I suggested. “Just to make sure it doesn’t close before we’ll finish dinner.” We walked in to ask about the hours, and a book immediately caught Lauren’s eye. True, we weren’t supposed to be shopping for books at that moment, but she bought it anyway. After all, what if someone would have nabbed it while we were out for dinner? After she paid, we asked how late they would be open. “Not sure,” said the bookseller. “10:00? 10:15? Something like that.” Sounds like he’s running a pretty tight ship.

The Mexican restaurant nearby was so much fun. It was on the second level of a building, so we had to walk up stairs lit by a bunch of pink neon lights before we got to the restaurant itself. Were we going to dinner or a nightclub? It could have gone either way.

The restaurant had a fab vibe. It’s obviously better in person, but here’s a pic:

While we were looking at the drink menu, a cocktail caught my eye because the menu said it had “fairy floss” in it. I wasn’t sure what fairy floss was, but it sounded awesome. I asked the waitress, and she was kind enough to bring some for me to try even though I didn’t ask her to. It’s basically cotton candy, but more stringy and less fluffy. Like maybe the cotton candy hadn’t showered in a while.

Here’s what it looks like:

I did not end up ordering the fairy floss cocktail, but Lauren and I decided to get one margarita and split it into two glasses (we were getting cray). Before taking a drink, Lauren said, “We should cheers.”

“What are we cheersing to?” I asked, holding up my glass.

“Hmmm…books!”

I’ll drink to that.

The food was delicious – I had tacos. They looked fancy.

After our meal, we walked back over to the book shop. *pleasant sigh* I would like an official award or trophy or something: I only bought ONE book. I didn’t even raid the dollar bin! I knew space was tight in my bag, so I spent some time (okay, a lot of time) narrowing down all the possible options to pick one winner.

Among the ones that did not get chosen was a coffee table book called Druids and High Kings. Now how am I supposed to learn about druids and high kings? Think of all the things I’ll never know! I also passed on one called Reading Your Child’s Hand: Discover your child’s talents and abilities. It was literally a palm reading parenting book. If I can’t ever figure out Ezra’s talents and abilities, I’ll blame it on the fact that I’m clearly uneducated about the topic.

The winning book was Mr. Eternity – The Life Story of Arthur Stace. Oh, you don’t know who Arthur Stace is? Do you live under a rock?? Just kidding. I didn’t know either. He’s pretty famous around here, and I’m excited to learn a lot more about him. He was this Christian guy who wrote “Eternity” in random places all over Sydney. No one knew who was leaving these messages for something like twenty years. It became quite the mystery. He would even write it in places like the inside of a bell in a bell tower, and to this day people still don’t know how he got up there to do that. Seems like the guy had a pretty interesting life.

Now Lauren’s sleeping, and I’m writing on this blog while munching the woke Sour Patch Kids (I have to admit – they’re growing on me). The last full day of the conference is tomorrow. I’m sad it’s almost over, but also I already have a novella of notes that I have no idea how to organize, so maybe it’s time to wrap things up. Good night!

Today was my day off from the conference, so Lauren and I decided to play super-tourist and go on a tour to the Sydney Zoo and Blue Mountains. We packed a lot into one day, but we sure had a lot of fun!

As the tour started, we were about five minutes into the bus ride when the tour guide started telling us about the zoo we were going to visit. He said that they’re especially proud of their capybaras, which are indigenous to Africa.

“No they’re not,” Lauren whispered to me. “They’re from South America. Look it up.” She was right. Looked like Lauren was going to be the real tour guide for the day.

Stop 1: Sydney Zoo

We only had one hour at the zoo, so we had to choose our favorite exhibits to visit. We put priority on the Australian animals. There was a section where we could feed kangaroos, and they just hopped around in and out of their habitat area. I told Lauren that she could feed a kangaroo first, and I would take her picture.

The kangaroo started eagerly gobbling up the handful of feed that Lauren had in her paper cup. My camera wasn’t opening (“My Phone Woes” could honestly be its own blog post), so I frantically asked Lauren to give me her phone so I wouldn’t miss the picture. She handed it to me, but apparently I have no idea how to work an iphone. By the time I broke into it, I somehow pulled up notes? And took a picture on a note? I was all sorts of confused, and the kangaroo was losing interest. STAY, kangaroo. STAY!

At long last I got the camera to open, and even though the shots may have been a bit late…they still turned out cute. How could they not be cute with a kangaroo in them?

Then Lauren got some pictures of me and had no technological difficulties whatsoever. Figures.

After the kangaroos, we headed over to the koala habitat. On our way, Lauren stopped and said, “Look! It’s a yellow-footed rock-wallaby!” I marveled at the fact that she seems to know everything about animals and plants.

Turns out, she actually just read the sign that said “yellow-footed rock-wallaby.” Oops. I should have considered that.

A little while later, we got to meet this cutie koala.

We zipped around to other exhibits after that, but none were quite as cool as the Australian animals. I have so much to write in this post that I don’t have time to tell you about all the amazing stuff we saw. I do want to post one picture of this snapping turtle, because the fishing people in my life will appreciate it. This species of turtle has something that looks like a fishing lure on the end of its tongue. It sits there with its mouth open, waiting, and when a fish comes by to grab the worm…SNAP!

After the fastest hour ever, we headed back to the bus.

Stop 2: Leura

Our second stop was in Leura, a tiny town on our way to the Blue Mountains. The tour guide said we only had an hour to stop here (why did the tour guide think we could tourist that fast?), and he suggested we have a nice, relaxing lunch at the Leura Cafe and then head back to the bus.

That could have been fun. Probably. But right up the street from the cafe was…an Op Shop! That’s a thrift shop, in case you haven’t read all of my posts and didn’t know that.

The Op Shop was a lot bigger than we expected. It had multiple small rooms that just kept leading into one another – a maze of treasures. We spent most of our time there. I don’t want this blog post to dissolve into “here’s the list of stuff I bought today,” but allow me to highlight a few items:

I was on the hunt for a fashion piece that looks different from something I could get in America, but also something that would be functional at home. I believe I found just the thing. Let me introduce you to my new jacket:

It is unusual but fabulous. If they’re currently selling it at your local Target, please don’t tell me. I like to think it’s Australian and cool.

You’re not going to believe what else I found at this Op Shop – a quilt. Now, LAST time I passed up a quilt in an Op Shop, I got so much pushback from my readers that I thought I was going to get cancelled. This quilt was not as magnificent as the original quilt, but it was quite a bit smaller (so I had space for it!). I liked it a lot, but I put it back and reminded myself that I don’t need any more quilts.

EXCEPT. Last time I passed on a quilt, I regretted it. If I did it again, it would just prove that I’m the type of person who doesn’t learn from her mistakes. Who wants to be that kind of person? Plus, it was only $9. I picked it up again. I debated whether or not I should get it until I turned over the corner. Then the deal was sealed. In tiny yellow stitching, it said, “Love from Auntie Taliah.”

What kind of ungrateful wretch let Auntie Taliah make them this beautiful quilt, and then they just tossed it out to an Op Shop like a worn-out sweater? They don’t deserve your quilt, Auntie Taliah. I will take your quilt back with me to the United States, where it can live the American dream and become a successful immigrant quilt that fully assimilates into the culture of my other quilts (while maintaining its national pride and identity, of course).

Lauren bought this glorious pair of purple shoes. She said she doesn’t technically have a place to wear purple shoes, but they fit her perfectly. I said that if it was me, I would INVENT occasions to wear shoes that spectacular. She didn’t take them off for like twenty minutes, walking around the store in them, and they eventually came home with us. If you want to take Lauren out for a fancy evening, she’s ready.

I won’t bore you with our other Op Shop purchases (but they were cool). When we finished shopping, we realized we were still supposed to eat lunch before we got back on the bus. Ack! We rushed down the road to some random takeout place, where we ordered the honey chicken and rice from the warmer because we didn’t think we had time for them to make any other food. Lucky for us, it was delicious. We ate as we walked, and we took our last bites just as the bus loaded up. Phewf! That was close.

Stop 3: The Blue Mounatins

We finally got up to the Blue Mountains, which looked especially vibrant today because of some recent rain. The eucalyptus oils give the air a blue foggy color. We took some pictures at a lookout point, and then we headed over to Scenic World.

Scenic World was a bit crowded. I felt very touristy. We did get to go in a cable car across the canyon, though, which was amazing. Most people stayed nearby the cable car or right around the main building. Lauren and I checked on our time, and we calculated that we had enough time to go on a hike through the valley.

Once we got about three minutes from the main building, we hardly saw anyone. We had the trail all to ourselves with plenty of space to breathe in the eucalyptus air and enjoy the sounds of the rainforest. Lauren took a video of the forest so she can look up the bird species later by their sounds. She was amped about the great Australian outdoors. “Look at that tree, Christine!” “Wow, a magpie!” “What interesting leaves.” “Look at this amazing rock!”

I thought about drawing the line when she said “look at this amazing rock.” LAUREN. WE HAVE ROCKS AT HOME. EVERYWHERE. It wasn’t a particularly Australian rock, either…just a normal old gray rock with some moss on it. Apparently this was riveting. But hey, I didn’t need to rain on Lauren’s parade. Enjoy the rocks! Why not?

One side note about our hike: allow me to explain an inside joke from my family that now includes you too. When I went to Australia with my mom fifteen years ago, we were hiking when I turned around and snapped a quick picture of her face. To this day, we joke about it being the worst picture ever taken of my mom. We even had it made into a pillowcase because it was so awful that it was hilarious. I thought it would be fun to recreate the picture with Lauren since we were in those same mountains again. I’m not going to post the original picture of my mom online because she might kill me, but Lauren said I could post the picture from today. Honestly, she nailed the look.

After our hike through the mountains, it was time to head back to Sydney. While waiting in line for the cable car to bring us out of the valley, we met a new friend: Kylie. She and Lauren bonded over their bright pink clothes. “I love pink,” Kylie said. “My whole apartment is totally pink.” She’s not currently dating, but I do wonder what her eventual boyfriend will think when he comes over to visit and it’s a Barbie dream house filled with cats (she loves cats). She asked us what we’ve been up to today, and we told her about the Sydney Zoo.

“Oh,” she said, “The Taylor Swift zoo? Cool!” We weren’t aware of a Taylor Swift zoo, so we asked for clarification. Apparently, when Taylor Swift was here a few months ago on tour, she visited that zoo. Now the zoo has seen a significant increase in ticket sales, and the cafe is swarmed with people wanting to eat in the same place Taylor Swift ate. Good for business, I guess, but that’s a bit ridiculous.

I was inwardly judging the Swifties, but then I realized that about an hour earlier, I’d been freaking out about this plaque that said I was at the same lookout the QUEEN visited in 1954. But she’s the Queen. That’s totally different.

I think.

When we boarded the cable car, I asked Kylie if I could take a picture of her with Lauren to commemorate their pink outfits. “Sure,” she said, “and don’t forget Bart Simpson’s butt!” She shifted her purse so we could have a full view of her sweatshirt, and well…here’s the picture.

We made it back up to the bus with two minutes to spare. The hike was definitely worth the effort. After so many days in the city, being outside in nature was perfect.

Our friend from the bus, Corey, told us about a market near where we were going to get dropped off after the tour. It sounded really neat. We got dropped off at 5:30, and the market closed at 6. We figured we could sneak in some power shopping.

We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. There were about fifty kabillion stalls with the least expensive souvenirs in the history of ever, and we had less than thirty minutes! The pressure was especially on for me, because today was my only chance to go to that market. I’m in conference sessions every other time it’s open.

I started stacking up an armload of stuff to “sort out later,” but then they were about to close…so I basically freaked out and bought all of it. When am I going to have this chance again?! Don’t talk to me about the Tetris game that is going to be figuring out how to get it all home. I have a small duffel that I packed empty so I could use it in case of a shopping emergency…and today was a shopping emergency. Lauren packed an extra duffel too. It’s fine. This is all coming home with us. Plus, a lot of it was small. For example, did I NEED the fuzzy cute koala on the Australia pencil? Yes. But a pencil hardly takes up any space at all, so it was okay.

Once again, I’m trying not to bore you with all of our purchases…but humor me for two more?

I got rugby jerseys to wear with Ezra. It’s fun to remember the rugby game I attended, and how often do Ezra and I have the opportunity to wear the same clothes in our respective sizes?! Plus, an adult jersey and a toddler jersey cost a total of $12 USD. I would pay $12 just to have a picture of Ezra in a rugby jersey. He’s gonna be so adorable!

Lauren picked up this environmentally friendly stuffed koala. It’s made with all recycled materials, and it is covered in messages such as “Recycle and Reuse!” “Nurture and Care!” and “Conservation!” If I tried to design a more Lauren-type souvenir, I don’t think I could have done it.

The market closed too soon, but that was probably a good thing. We only went to a few stalls, and who knows what other things we would have found if we would have had unlimited shopping time? We may have had to buy another suitcase to bring everything home, which would defeat the purpose of these great prices.

We were exhausted from a long day of running all around Australia, but we still wanted dinner before we turned in for the night. Lauren’s friend from home, John, had suggested that we go to a restaurant called “Pancakes on the Rocks,” so we looked it up. I wasn’t in the mood for pancakes, but they had salads and such. We decided to give it a try.

I changed my mind about the pancakes when we got to the restaurant. They looked delectable. Lauren and I both struggled to turn from the pancake page in the menu because we kept finding more delicious combinations. “Listen to this one,” I said. “Buttermilk pancakes, raspberries, raspberry syrup, white chocolate chunks, cream, and vanilla ice cream on top.”

“It sounds like Raspberry Rendezvous, but in a pancake,” Lauren said. Raspberry Rendezvous is my all-time favorite ice cream, and I can only get it in Ludington. The thought of that tasty magic in pancake form? I had to try it.

Lauren decided to get a chocolate and vanilla surprise combo. We felt a little ridiculous for ordering just ice cream topped pancakes for dinner. At the last second, we threw in a salad. To split. Because it made the whole thing feel healthier.

Ordering took us about twenty minutes because we had to use a QR code at the table to do all the ordering and paying. The wifi was spotty, and it was hard to navigate the online program. We even had to order our water online. It didn’t seem that waiter-types were a thing at this restaurant. We were about to give up and find someone who could take our order the old fashioned way, but we eventually figured it out. We are so tech-forward.

When the food came out, we started by eating the pancakes. The ice cream was going to melt, okay? We couldn’t just sit there eating a salad while watching our beautiful pancake creations melt into mush. That’s criminal.

I took a few bites of my food, then thought very hard before what I said next. I didn’t want to be too dramatic, but I decided I wasn’t exaggerating. “These,” I finally said, “are the best pancakes I’ve ever had in my life.”

I’ve had a lot of pancakes over the years, but none this wonderful. It’s a shame, because now all other pancakes are ruined for me. I’ve found my soulmate pancake, and it’s a cruel reality that I will probably never see another one ever again. If you ever see me walking around like an empty shell of a person, that’s why.

Now we’re back at the hotel. I’m going back to the conference tomorrow, and I think Lauren’s going to check out another zoo (Sydney has three). She’s on a quest to find a platypus, and I hope she does! If not, she can probably find a rock somewhere. There’s always that.

This morning, I met an older Russian man in the elevator. He was wearing a too-big knit tan cardigan and wire-rimmed glasses. His eyebrows were bushy, and the eyebrow hairs stuck straight out from his head like they were trying to escape.

I said good morning politely, but I also felt a little awkward in the elevator just the two of us. I felt like saying, “Hey, bummer how our two countries hate each other, amirite? And the Cold War – man, that was messed up.” Before I could say that, Mr. Russia had a better ice breaker: “What university are you from?”

“I’m not from a university,” I said. “I’m actually a middle school teacher.”

Mr. Russia looked impressed. “Wow, you’re one of the ones doing the important work.”

I looked up, skeptical. Was he being patronizing? Was he being sarcastic? He looked genuine to me. Not many people say that my work is “important.” After all, I’m not researching the decolonization of mathematics instruction in the South Pacific or whatever. I think he meant it, though, and it made me like Russia just a little bit more.

After my day got started on a good note, I headed off to the conference. Here are some conference notes for you today:

1. I made a Finnish friend! I TOLD you I would find a Finnish friend. Her name is Laura. She said we can go out for coffee later this week to discuss the Finnish education system, and I about jumped with glee. I reported this to Rex and said how excited I was. He texted back and asked if he was supposed to know why that was so exciting. I wrote back: isn’t it common knowledge that Finland consistently ranks as one of the best education systems in the world? And they use all kinds of revolutionary methods to retain teachers and boost student success? Rex claimed this is not common knowledge. I wasn’t sure if I believed him. Unfortunately, later in the day, Lauren backed him up and also said this is not common knowledge. *sigh*

2. I kept an eye on international fashion today. At first when I saw something interesting, I thought, “That culture has an interesting style.” Then I started wondering, “Okay but is this what usual people wear in that country, or is that what MATH people wear in that country?” Because those two might be different. Anyway, here are some notable looks:

A. One lady had glasses that had one round lens and one square lens. I’ve never seen glasses like that before. It takes a certain kind of person to pull off that look, but she was that certain kind of person.

B. A woman from a Middle Eastern country wore a traditional head scarf, but it was covered in Louis Vuitton logos. I’ve never seen a designer head scarf like that. It was pretty cool.

C. A guy walked by in a mullet, jeans, and a windbreaker jacket. Is it terrible that my first thought was, “Pleeeeeeease don’t be American”? We do enough as a country to make ourselves look weird. We don’t need this track star from 1982 adding to the noise. Thankfully, I heard him talk to someone, and he had some sort of European accent. Phewf.

Once the conference was over for the day, I had five single-spaced pages of notes about all the stuff I learned. That’s adding to my collection of notes from yesterday and the day before. I might need the entire fifteen-hour flight home to get these organized.

I didn’t have any time to organize them tonight because…LAUREN’S HERE!!! We got to hang out all evening.

We walked around by the opera house, and we visited some shops to hunt for souvenirs. Who doesn’t love a chintzy souvenir shop? They had plenty of placenta cream, so that’s what you’re all getting for Christmas this year.

It was a beautiful night for walking around downtown, and we really enjoyed ourselves.

When it was time for dinner, we read menus from a few places before settling on a restaurant overlooking the harbor (or “harbour” if I’m assimilating into the culture). It was an Italian restaurant – delish – so guess what I ordered? Spaghetti bolognese! My favorite!

Don’t you get on my case about not trying adventurous foods. Did you read yesterday’s post? I ate odd Korean meat and drank CHUNKY POP. I was in the mood for something familiar tonight.

Lauren was in the mood for…well…being Lauren. She ordered kangaroo fillets over bright purple beet risotto. Lucky for me, she let me try a bite of kangaroo. That way I could cross that off my Australia bucket list without having to buy a whole serving for myself. I didn’t really like it, but Lauren insists that it tastes like steak but with “more tendons.” Which apparently tastes good to her.

Here’s how Lauren felt about trying kangaroo:

Here’s how I felt about trying kangaroo:

Now we’re back in the hotel room, eating my junk food collection from yesterday. After trying some new Australian candy, I decided to go back to good old Sour Patch Kids. WELL. One of the things you don’t learn about in school is that Australian Sour Patch Kids are different from in the USA! I opened the bag and immediately knew something was wrong. What were these nonsense gummies?

One of the flavors is blackcurrant. I mean, okay. Fine. I can appreciate a fresh Sour Patch culture. The candy is thicker and chewier, though, almost like those nasty gummy orange slices that we have at home.

I read the bag, trying to figure out what the heck happened to my beloved candy, and it got worse. In Australia, they try to guilt trip you for eating sweets. They remind you right on the front: “Remember! One serving is eight pieces.” Who has ever eaten only eight Sour Patch Kids is what I’d like to know. Another ad on the front says, and I quote, “Be treatwise! Enjoy a balanced diet.”

I turned the bag over because I was sick of the sugar shaming. On the back, there’s a notice that says I should return the bag to the store when I’m finished. Then, just in case I made up my mind to ignore that request (like I did), they have a black and white circle in the bottom corner of the package that implores me to “Keep our planet tidy.”

Also, these are plant-based Sour Patch Kids with no artificial colors or flavors. What is with these woke Sour Patch Kids? Is it possible to be homesick for artificial flavoring?

I should get some sleep. We have a day off from the conference tomorrow, so Lauren and I are going to explore the Blue Mountains. Yippee! See you later!

I continue to love this conference. I’ll try not to nerd out on this blog too much about all of the math education stuff I’m learning, because not everyone finds it interesting. I will say, though, that I had a somewhat serious discussion with a colleague today about what it would take for me to start doing math research. Math research is awesome. I would probably need a doctorate, but I mean…that could be fun. I could do that.

In the elevator after that conversation, I thought, “CHRISTINE. GET A GRIP. You already work during the school year, teach summer school, write books and articles, work with book coaching clients, and – oh yeah – you have a toddler and a husband. WHEN EXACTLY DO YOU EXPECT TO GET A MATH DOCTORATE?”

Yeah, I suppose I’ll let that dream die. It was fun for the ten minutes that I thought about it. The fact that I even considered it should be evidence of how much I love what I’m doing here.

Here are some conference highlights for you today:

1. I went to a session on popularizing mathematics as a subject and taking the fear out of it for our students. The presenter said, “In my country of Brazil, we have designed a curse to fix this problem.”

Whoa there, Brazil. What kind of fancy math voodoo is this?! I was intrigued and a bit nervous. Math isn’t scary to me…but a math curse might be.

A few sentences later, I figured out that she was talking about a math course. That’s not nearly as cool, but I guess it makes more sense. About halfway through her presentation, she realized she might be saying it incorrectly. “Curse? Course? Curse? I’m not sure.” You’re good, Brazil. We figured it out.

2. I’ve met quite a few American teachers from a variety of states. I have learned an important rule: don’t ask them if they like a specific sports team from their state. They do not. They will literally all say, “I’m not that into sports.” Pick a new conversation starter that’s more mathy.

3. Today I sat with Kevin and Dave again in the morning whole-group session. For one of the panels, Kevin and Dave didn’t know who the moderator was (Not even a panelist, by the way. The moderator). Since they’re used to knowing famous math people, they decided to look up this guy’s Wikipedia and see what kind of work he’s done.

His WIKIPEDIA PAGE.

Don’t mind me over here…I don’t even have a LinkedIn.

4. Speaking of famous people, I forgot to tell you this: Yesterday at lunch, we were waiting in line to order burritos when my friend Laura whispered, “Oh my gosh. It’s Francis Su.”

“Who’s that?” I asked. I have accepted that I am very ignorant about a lot of things at this conference, but how am I supposed to get smarter if I don’t ask questions, hmmmm? So I asked.

“He wrote Mathematics for Human Flourishing,” she said.

“Seriously?!” I looked at him in awe. “I knew that name sounded familiar. I love that book.” I was 100% telling the truth, too. I own that book. I felt very accomplished at finally recognizing a math celebrity. Come to think of it, though, I didn’t know him by his face…or his name…so okay, maybe I didn’t recognize him. But I have his book, so that feels significant somehow.

5. I stood up to a group of math PhDs, which was probably dumb. But I HAVE OPINIONS, okay? One of the guys is part of the team that writes the math standards for the USA. For those of you who don’t know education, standards are the topics we are required to teach.

“Do you guys think the Geometry standards are important?” he asked. “Some people on the team want to get rid of them.”

“They can’t get rid of them!” said the PhD across from me. “They are so essential!” The one next to her seemed appropriately horrified as well.

“Eh,” I said, “I don’t think they’re that important.” The other math people looked at me, a little stunned. Here’s the thing: volume and area? Sure. We should learn that. Spatial reasoning? Fine. But PROOFS??? When I first learned Geometry proofs at age fifteen, I thought they were a waste of time. When I started teaching them at the age of twenty-four, I still thought they were a waste of time. Now, talking to a guy who actually has power to change stuff, it was my chance to stand up for high schoolers everywhere who will throw their book out the window if they have to memorize one more postulate.

I explained my point of view (politely), and I said that instead of doing Geometry proofs, I think high schoolers should learn economic skills. What’s more likely to be useful to a student in the future: the ASA Theorem, or understanding how credit card interest rates work?

The PhD across from me still didn’t agree. “Proofs help students to develop logic and reasoning,” she said. I get that point. I really do. But how many of my students are going to end up with PhDs in calculus like this lady? Not many. How many are going to have a credit card? Tons.

The standards guy said that they did write some economic standards a while back, but they never caught on with teachers. “That’s because they’re not tested,” I said. “If econ standards were on the standardized tests, teachers would teach them.”

He said I had a good point.

I think perhaps this is what Kevin meant when he said a classroom teacher perspective can be important. Even if no one listens to me, I felt happy that I got to explain why I think econ skills should replace Geometry proofs (and also the quadratic formula, but I didn’t want to push my luck). I’ve been complaining about that for years, but not to anyone who could do anything about it.

After the conference, I had TWO dinner invitations. I felt very popular. I went with the first people who asked – Jason and Sarah. You might remember them from the reception on Sunday night. We walked around town for a bit and appreciated the funky street art.

Eventually we figured we should decide where to eat. They offered to go to a wings place for me so I could “feel at home,” but I said I could try something new.

When I said I would try something “new,” I kind of meant, “but still something that tastes okay and is vaguely familiar.” They decided to go for Korean BBQ. Looking at the menu, I was a little lost. Cow tongue? No thank you. Stomach lining? I’m gonna pass. Beef ribs? HEY WAIT! I KNOW WHAT RIBS ARE! I’M ORDERING THAT.

I don’t even like ribs, but it was better than a tongue or a stomach lining.

The waitress cooked the food for us right at the table, which was great. We also had a ton of side dishes that came with the meal. Have you ever tried to eat sweet potato mash with chopsticks? Because I have. It’s not easy.

For my drink, I ordered this weird Korean version of pop.

I took a sip and almost spit it out. “Um, excuse me,” I said to the waitress. “What’s in this?”

“Grapes,” she said like I was a moron. In her defense, there was a picture of grapes on the side.

“Grapes?!” The look on my face must have been funny, because Jason and Sarah laughed at my confusion. “Okay, no, it’s cool,” I said, trying to recover. “Grapes are fine. I like grapes.”

Who wants chunky pop?? I mean, the chunks were grape pieces, but STILL. Ew.

Once I got over my surprise about the grape chunks, we really had a great time. “This is so fun,” I said. “It’s like a campfire!”

Sarah looked intrigued. “In America, do you really have those things you eat by a campfire? I forgot the name of it…”

“S’mores?”

“Yes! That’s it!”

“YOU DON’T HAVE S’MORES?!” They’re not even that hard to make. It’s not like they’d have to import marshmallows, because they have those here. I don’t know if they have graham crackers, but I’m sure they have something close. Anyway, I explained all about s’mores and showed them pictures. Jason and Sarah agreed that they look/sound delicious (because they are).

Now that I was in a dessert mood (but woefully without a s’more), I asked if we could stop somewhere on the way back to the hotel so I could buy Australian candy.

They took me to a grocery store and loaded me up with all the traditional Australian candy, most of which looks delicious. I’m a little skeptical about the “Violet Crumble,” but we shall see.

Oh, and I got a bag of Sour Patch Kids too. Not because they’re Australian, but because I love them.

Now I’m back in my room, writing to you. I’m pretty sleepy, though, so it’s time to cash it in. Talk to you again soon!

Confession: when planning this trip, I thought, “Hooray! A free trip to Australia! Oh yeah, I guess I’ll talk about math with some people. But mostly hooray for Australia!”

I didn’t realize how AWESOME this conference would be.

There are ninety-seven countries represented here. Ninety-seven. There are over 2,300 educators in attendance. I am learning how people teach in other countries, learning about cutting edge math research, and also learning useful tools that I can take back to my classroom.

At the beginning of the day, I met up with Kevin and Dave. They invited me to walk to the conference with them from my hotel and sit with them for the opening ceremony, which was kind. At the ceremony, an aboriginal guy gave a presentation about playing the didgeridoo (thanks for the assist on that one, spell check). He was very talented. He also taught us about boomerangs. Did you know there are male and female boomerangs? They’re made from different parts of the tree. Now you know.

After his talk, we had to sit through almost two hours of what I am calling “The Math Research Oscars.” Professors introduced and praised other professors, people got awards for various contributions to the field of math, they gave long acceptance speeches, etc. I am probably supposed to know who some of these people are…but I totally don’t. At one point, they even did an “in memoriam” slideshow about math people who have died since the last congress. It was very somber. I didn’t know who any of those people were, either.

Have I mentioned that I’m unclear on how I’m qualified to be here?

After the Math Research Oscars, we had morning tea. I was still with Kevin and Dave, but Kevin was greeting all the important math guys from other countries. “Hey! Enrique! Haven’t seen you in forever, man,” or “Chao! What have you been up to?” I didn’t want to be the awkward Kevin shadow, so I told him I was going to go meet up with some other American teachers, and I’d catch the guys later.

I did find some other American teachers, and I had a lot of fun connecting with them. We agreed to meet for lunch. When it was time for the next session to start, we parted ways.

When I got to my session, guess who came and sat by me? KEVIN. Out of all the zillions of conference sessions, we picked the same one (Building Community Around Mathematics Storytelling). I guess he wasn’t too annoyed with me yet, because he could have stayed in the back of the room. I’d never have known he was there. Anyway, we were chatting, and someone I didn’t know walked up all timidly and said, “Ummm…excuse me? Aren’t you Dr. Davis?” (I changed Kevin’s last name so he won’t stumble upon this blog one day and see all the embarrassing stuff I’ve written).

“No, no, no,” he said. “I’m not a doctor. Just mister. But yes, I am Kevin Davis.”

“That’s amazing!” this fan said. “I love your work! I read your stuff all the time.”

When they were done talking, Kevin turned to me and looked genuinely embarrassed. “Sorry,” he said. “That happens kind of a lot.”

Oh yeah, me too, I totally get that. LOL. Not so much. It’s like I’m walking around with Stephen Hawking or something. It’s kind of awkward, but also cool that he’s quasi-adopted me and invites me to things with him and his friends.

I want to type out everything I learned today, but honestly you wouldn’t care about most of it. Also, I would be typing for a very long time. One of my favorite conversations was about gifted education, because I’m really interested in that and run two gifted classes at my school. I learned about the history of gifted math education in Russia (fascinating!), and I talked with some other teachers about the best time to start tracking math classes. We all agreed around age 13, except for the teacher from Bulgaria, who said 11. I’m not too intimidated by Bulgaria, though, so I’m sticking with 13. I talked to someone who develops gifted programs and curricula for middle school students, and now I have so many more resources! Yay!

I met a teacher from Finland, and I totally fangirled. “Finland!?” I said. “Your education system is amazing! I would love to talk to you more about it.” He gave me a look like I was a total weirdo, and then the session mercifully started. I STILL WANT TO LEARN ABOUT FINLAND’S SYSTEM, THOUGH. I’m going to find a Finnish teacher who doesn’t hate me. New goal. This will happen.

One thing that was disconcerting was during a session on analyzing math reasoning. The German presenter showed us a problem that she gives to students of various ages, and then she analyzes the methods they use to solve it in order to research how math processing works at different grade levels.

Here’s the problem:

I’m absolutely going to give that problem to my junior high students and see how they do. Here is my prediction: first of all, I’ll have to explain what the problem is even asking at least three times. I’ll probably have to show them an example. Then the students will try guess and check until one of them figures out a solution, and then the rest of them will find a way to cheat off of whoever found the answer. They definitely won’t look for multiple answers. If no one can figure it out within ten minutes, the whole class will give up and talk about Tik Tok instead.

Apparently this is not the case in Germany. The presenter said that out of her fifty third graders, all were able to solve the problem and many were able to come up with several ways to answer it. When she asked them to explain their reasoning…well. I took a picture of this slide for you. She said it was “not bad for eight years old.”

Another teacher asked for clarification on this, because he sees this more as a grade 1 problem than a grade 3 problem. Isn’t it too easy for eight year olds?

Dude. If this is what other countries do from ages 6-8, America is in trouble. I talked to a teacher who taught in China but who teaches in the US now. She says the gap in math knowledge between the US and other countries is widening. Other places are constantly pushing kids in math, and in America it feels like we’re chilling out and lowering the bar because we don’t want our students to feel stressed or sad (which is a whole separate conversation for another time). Anyway, it is legit alarming. Here’s a separate presenter giving a “fun challenge” problem that she uses in fifth grade:

I seriously doubt my students would even attempt that. And they’re in eighth grade. Eeeeek!

Let’s talk about less depressing things. Here are two funny anecdotes from today:

1. I was thirsty, so I asked an employee where the nearest drinking fountain was. She looked at me like I was speaking nonsense. I asked again, and she still didn’t get it. “It’s, you know, the metal station thing? And water comes out of it? And you drink it?” Blank stare. I found out later that first of all, drinking fountains must not be that common in Australia – I didn’t find a single one at the convention center. Secondly, they’re called “bubblers” here. This makes no sense since there are no bubbles involved…it’s literally a fountain that you drink…but I don’t make the rules. That’s what they call it.

2. I was talking with two teachers from the Netherlands, and I told them that we have a pretty prevalent Dutch population in Southwest Michigan. They looked at each other, confused, and then one said, “Oh, I think you mean Deutsch. That’s actually German.”

“No,” I countered. “I promise you, I mean Dutch. You should see my yearbook. The V section is ridiculous. Van…Van…Vander…Vander…it goes on forever. We literally have a city in Michigan called Holland.”

Now they started to believe me. “Really?” one said. “That’s so weird. The Netherlands is actually called Holland sometimes.”

DUH. I KNOW THAT. THIS IS WHY I MENTIONED IT. I pulled out my phone and did a Google image search of Holland. “Here,” I handed it to them. “This is Holland, Michigan.”

“WHOA!” They both freaked out. “That looks just like the Netherlands! Like, my house could be right on the other side of those tulips!”

Now they believe me. I keep quiet about a lot around here because I don’t want to risk looking like an idiot…but I know we have a Dutch population in Michigan. I wasn’t backing down on that one.

After the conference, I met up with some teachers for dinner. One of them started the conversation with, “Where’s your PhD from?” I told him that I don’t have a PhD. A little while later in the conversation, he said, “So…when are you starting your PhD?” Haha. I told him that I’m really happy in the classroom right now and might not even get a PhD at all (gasp!!), but I don’t think he was getting it. “I did the classroom thing for a few years,” he said, “but there comes a time that you need to move on.”

Apparently I’m not there yet.

Now I’m blogging and reviewing all the new contacts I made today. Our name badges are super cool – if you meet someone and you’d like their contact info for later, you just scan their name tag with your phone. It uploads their name and contact info right into your conference app. It’s fab! So tonight I’m planning to e-mail a researcher from Brazil about the geometry work she’s doing. I got research papers from a French woman about raising attitudes toward math in students. Half of the papers are in French, and I tried to explain I wouldn’t be able to read those ones…but she gave them to me anyway. There’s probably some app that can translate them for me. Otherwise I’ll just e-mail her.

I knew I’d be meeting a lot of people on this trip, but I don’t think I realized how awesome it would be to connect over our passion for math education and to discuss ways to partner across borders to raise the bar for all of our students. It’s humbling, yet somehow at the same time I’m so proud to be a part of this group.

Can’t wait to see what I learn tomorrow!

Sunday morning started with a delicious breakfast (obviously), and then I headed off to church. Here’s a picture of the church I attended: St. George’s Presbyterian Church.

The building is beautiful – suuuuper old. I don’t even think they had heat in the building, because they had several heat lamps hanging above us like we were baby chicks at Tractor Supply Company. I wanted to take pictures of the inside of the church, but people were in that somber, reverent mood that made me think taking pictures might be disrespectful. There were four sections of pews in the sanctuary: two down the middle and one on either side. There were also balconies on each side (and maybe one in the back too – I forgot to look). Basically, the church was way bigger than mine back home and could easily fit a few hundred people…but there were maybe a few dozen in attendance. The average age felt like it was around seventy. I stood out. People were friendly and kind, and a woman named Liz talked to me quite a bit. She lamented the state of Christianity in Australia. “Faith is strong in the United States,” she said. “You’re a very Christian nation.”

If the world is counting on the United States to be the picture of Christian virtues…I’m concerned.

After church, it was pouring down rain. My hotel was about a quarter mile away, but the museum was just across the park. I’d been meaning to go back to the museum anyway, so I decided to spend Sunday afternoon there.

After a couple hours at the museum, I still didn’t see all the exhibits. That’s probably because I had the ability to stop and read all of the information on the plaques. Usually when I’m at a museum, I’m on a field trip with students. Then I don’t get to read anything because I’m spending most of my time yelling things like, “Stop jumping on the artifacts!”

There was one exhibit called “Surviving Australia,” and it was about how there are tons of animals in Australia that can kill you. They have the most venomous snakes, most venomous spiders, etc. I thought, “Okay, note to self – don’t go hiking.” But then I read the information more closely. Many of the species are “very common in urban areas.” You know what’s urban? SYDNEY. Ahhhhh! So now I keep checking corners of my room for things that will kill me. Look at this lovely list of snakes that will kill you. Almost all have Sydney in the red zone. Awesome.

I went through a section about prehistoric creatures, and my favorite was the carnivorous “Demon Duck of Doom.” It seems that a very dramatic scientist came up with that name, and I would like to be friends with that person.

There was an entire hall of bird specimens made from hundreds of birds that are indigenous to Australia. Most of them were so pretty and colorful!

This boring brown one kind of reminded me of a grouse, though, so I took a picture for Rex.

Now, when I walk across parks and down streets, I see fabulous birds and think I can identify them because I spent a good amount of time in the bird gallery. Guess what? I can’t.

Okay, we’re going to move on from the museum. I have lots more to say. But check out one more picture of this skeleton horse and rider. Super cool.

After the museum, I went back and got ready for the conference welcome reception. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew I was meeting up with the American teachers on my team before the reception, but that was pretty much it.

I found our group (~20 people), and we went around and introduced ourselves and explained what we do in the math education field. Most are not classroom teachers. Once we were finished with the introductions, the organizer of our group said, “Now, before we go any further, I want to make sure you understand something. If you’re a classroom teacher…well, it’s not that they don’t want you here. It’s just that this conference isn’t geared toward you. It’s mostly professors and people doing their post-doctoral research. I’m not saying you have to be embarrassed about the fact that you’re a classroom teacher, and you don’t have to be shy, but I just want you to understand.”

Man, nothing makes you feel more unwanted/embarrassed/shy than someone assuring you that’s probably how you’re feeling, but DON’T feel that way. I wasn’t feeling intimidated before she said that…but by the end of her speech, I felt tears stinging the back of my eyes. If the conference isn’t for me, why did they invite me?

Kevin (remember Kevin from “Kevin and the Daves”?) spoke up. “I’d like to mention that I was ‘just a classroom teacher’ before I became president of NCTM. I talked to several PhDs before taking this position and said I wasn’t sure I was cut out for it since I didn’t have research experience or advanced degrees. They told me there’s not any point to math education research if researchers aren’t consistently working with current classroom teachers to figure out which methods would be viable. Classroom teachers are vital to this conference, because they’re on the front lines of what happens every day in math instruction. If you’re a classroom teacher, please speak up. We need your perspective.”

I knew I liked Kevin. Not only did he totally stick up for me, but also he is the president of NCTM – who’s going to disagree with him?

After that slight hiccup, I tried to dust myself off and muster up some confidence. When we went into the reception hall…well, I’m not sure what I expected, but it wasn’t what I found. A children’s choir sang on risers to provide background music, starting with the song “Welcome to the Land Down Under” by Men at Work.

While the choir sang, thousands of educators milled about. Servers in suits came around with trays of red wine, white wine, champagne, beer, snacks upon snacks upon snacks, etc. I don’t think I recognized a single snack because they were all so fancy. I kept asking the servers what they were. The servers would tell me and then assure me something such as, “Don’t worry, it’s vegan.” or “It’s dairy free.” Dear servers: I’m not actually worried about allergens. I mostly want to know what that crispy red and green thing was before it was a crispy red and green thing.

Every time I turned around, there was a new sort of snack floating by on a silver tray. I tried quite a few, but I also didn’t want to be the stereotypical American that eats ALL THE FOOD.

Speaking of food, I talked to an American teacher about going out to dinner another time. “We could invite Kevin too,” I said, because he was only standing a few feet away.

“Omg no,” she said. “Can you even imagine? Going out to dinner with the president?!”

Oh right. I forgot. I’m supposed to be scared of him. But he’s part of Kevin and the Daves! And we bonded over trying to figure out rugby. He doesn’t seem that scary to me anymore.

I met so many people at the reception that I started sneaking my phone out between conversations in order to take notes because I was scared I would forget everyone’s names. Most of the notes had nothing to do with math: “Greta froze her eggs. Might have kids later” or “Lisa only sees her family on weekends because her school is so far away.” At the end of my list, I added “When in doubt, DAVE.” Because that’s apparently every math guy’s name.

My favorite interaction all night was with a couple from Australia: Jason and Sarah. I bet we talked for over an hour. By the end of it, they were invited to Kalamazoo, and they said I’ll always have a place to stay in Melbourne. So we’re pretty tight.

Here are a few of my favorite moments:

J: You’re from America? Does that mean your school has a bus?

Me: Yes…

S: Is it YELLOW?

Me: Yes….?

J&S: Wow!! That’s so amazing! It’s just like the movies! I always wondered if they really had yellow school buses!

Apparently they don’t even have school buses in Australia at all. Kids have to take public transportation. Bleh.

After we got to know each other a little bit, they asked me about American politics. I just knew that was going to come up.

Me: Sorry…most of the Americans are confused too. It’s not great at the moment.

S: Here’s the thing: Biden is an embarrassment to your country. But Trump is nuttier than a fruitcake. You guys couldn’t find anyone else?

I spent a little time explaining about the polarization of our two-party system and how we ended up with our current options…but short answer? No. We don’t have anyone else.

They asked about where Michigan is in America, and I pulled out my phone and found a map where all the states are different colors. “There’s Michigan,” I said. “It’s the purple one.”

“Oh,” Jason said. “What’s the purple one above it?”

“That’s also Michigan.”

“They’re both Michigan?”

“Yeah, we have two peninsulas. They’re connected by a bridge.”

“Whoa, that must be a LONG bridge.”

“Yeah, it is. We’re pretty proud of it, actually.”

Hooray Michigan!

Don’t worry – I didn’t spend the whole conversation blabbering on and on about my culture. I learned about them too. I asked if people in Australia really eat kangaroo or if that’s just a myth. They assured me that yes, people eat kangaroo all the time, and there’s actually a section for it in the grocery store next to the chicken, beef, and pork.

Jason and Sarah don’t eat it much now, though, because their daughter decided to be vegan.

“Wow,” I said, “That must have been a huge adjustment for your family to start cooking everything vegan.”

“It was,” said Sarah, “but what are you going to do, say no? I mean, if Ezra comes home one day and tells you he’s vegan, you have to respect that.”

I believe I mustered up a polite nod.

Anyway, I made a lot of friends at the reception. I stayed all the way until the end when the employees said our time was up and started kicking us out.

I have a feeling this is going to be a great conference!